विक्रम संवत 432 | श्रावण माह | कृष्ण पक्ष | त्रयोदशी

28 July 375 CE

Truth is accepted

"Chandragupta", Atreya's voice resounded through my room. I looked at him as he started to speak. "This is a very grave matter. I am at a loss for words. In all my years, I have never failed to anticipate such a pivotal situation so spectacularly."

I waited for the words to come; I was tired of speaking what I thought was right or what I thought was wrong.

"Atreya, I feel like something bad is about to happen."

"You are scared of your own family's truths, Chandragupta. You have always been trained in courtyards and given arrows by generals to use, never out in the real world. You are scared of what this real world brings out of you."
"Yes Atreya, I am scared. How can I trust myself? How can I decide the fate of these lives - who are worshipped as they serve justice from the throne - when the same lives tear each other apart in private? I never thought my hands were meant to decide the fate of kingdoms. I cannot see the path that my Dharma, my morals ask me to take."

"Deciding the fate of lives is a royal matter, Chandragupta. It is the very core of what Kings do. You have a good heart, you are Chandragupta Vikramak! Outside of all thinkable order! You are faced with a difficult choice, for if you choose to take matters into your own hands, you will forever be scarred by the deeds of a Maharaja, a Vidhayak, an arbiter of justice. You can choose to listen to the call of the throne. Then, no morals would bind you, you become the moral order. It would be your responsibility. But if you choose to let fate decide the path of this court, you could leave this life forever, and I would understand your decision. You would still be Vikramak, outside all thinkable order, by abandoning this lineage and this inheritance. It is your choice and yours only to make."

I stood still by the western window of my princely chamber. One could, in clear daylight, see the military preparations of the Shaka King outside of Mathura. Dhruvadevi's tears, followed by Madhavasena's face, came to my mind.

How could I be the decider of lives? I had not chosen to be born in the palace, at least I do not remember choosing my own bloodline. I merely found myself present here one fine day; it had been given to me. Massive feelings of discomfort and fear were bellowing within me. A whirlwind took birth inside my heart. I turned my head to Atreya. He was waiting, looking straight into my eyes.

A sharp, cold fire crept up my spine.

I do not know when I will depart this world - I certainly have no control over it. It could be on the battlefield, something I have spent my life preparing for. It could be tomorrow, betrayed by one of my courtiers or my closest family. I was left alone with this predicament - a choice between sticking to or breaking away from this thread of a prince's life - when the starting or ending of this thread of life were never in my hands.

"Atreya, I will meet you tomorrow."

Atreya bowed and took his leave. I paced back and forth for hours, and once the sun had sunk, I went to the cremetorial grounds of Mathura. A dead smell of ash was in the air and several pyres were still smoking by the side of the River Jamuni. The grounds spanned a long stretch of the river bank, a place frequented by the disciples of the Gods of Death. I sat here under a tree.

विक्रम संवत 432 | श्रावण माह | कृष्ण पक्ष | त्रयोदशी

28 July 375 CE

Later

That night I did not return, but Chandragupta did. Something had changed within him. I found Chandragupta entering the King's chambers late that night. I saw the last prayer Chandragupta made for the sleeping Ramagupta.

"From a brother to a brother, Chandragupta thanks you for coming this far. If one day you meet me Maharaja, I know He will understand. And for this, Chandragupta bows his head in apology."

I saw Chandragupta kiss his brother on the forehead.
I saw Chandragupta open a vial of tasteless, odourless poison and carefully drip a small volume onto Maharaja's lips.
I saw Chandragupta tear up, and close his eyes.

विक्रम संवत 453 | भाद्रपद माह | शुक्ल पक्ष | पूर्णिमा

15 August 396 CE

I saw Chandragupta Vikramaditya, attending his daily throne as the Maharajadhiraj, coronated after the untimely demise of his elder brother Ramagupta.

That court day, I saw Dhruvadevi safe and silent, standing behind the modesty curtains of the Queens section.

That court day, I saw Madhavasena, safe and alive.